Mary Torcivia, with her sons Joe (left) and Bob (right).
Mary Torcivia, my mother, passed away on Saturday, May 23, 2015, at the age of 88 - following a three-week illness.
She was an amazing lady, as my eulogy for her reproduced below, will reveal. And, consider THIS EARLY BLOG POST something of a prelude for what i'm about to say.
Here is my eulogy for my mother, delivered on May 27, 2015:
Today, we say good-bye to Mary Torcivia – devoted wife of
Joseph P., loving mother to Joseph M. and Robert, mother-in-law to Esther, and
grandmother to Kyle, and Joseph III.
More than a loving mother, she was an amazing
inspiration. For a small and quiet
person, she demonstrated great strength – strength that often surprised
me.
From a disastrous full staircase fall slamming into a door
in 1979, to her husband’s death in 1992, to an out of control SUV nearly
destroying her home in 2007, to fracturing her hip three days before Hurricane
Sandy and enduring 11 full days in the dark and unexpected bitter cold that
followed in 2012, to her remarkable grace throughout her terminal illness of
2015… she faced it all with the great strength that I will always remember her
for.
To the very end, she fought against the effects of the
disease that took her, all the while doing her best to remain as upbeat and
cheerful as was humanly possible during her final week at home.
In the time I spent with her every evening of that final
week, she made certain to say how proud she was of her sons, Bob and I, and how
well we worked together to make her final wish come true. To spend her final days in the home she
lived-in and loved, since February, 1969.
In addition, for me, she was a wise sounding-board and a
comfort when it came to relationship ups and downs and acting upon life’s
necessary choices. And it is that aspect of our relationship that
that provides me with my final story of my mother.
During an unpleasant personal period for me, we found
ourselves alone together in her house one evening. Oddly, she enjoyed science fiction related
entertainment to a degree you might not expect of someone of her gender and age. But, over the years, we enjoyed things like
Lost in Space, Time Tunnel, and Kolchak the Night Stalker. She was actually watching The X Files and
Lost before I was!
Noting my unhappiness, as only a mother could, she was
watching a movie on HBO – a movie about some “dirt-poor desert town”, under
which there were giant monster worm-creatures that would spring-up and eat
people. It was called “Tremors”, perhaps
you remember it.
Anyway, she asked me to sit and watch it with her, probably
knowing it would somehow distract me from my situation. And it did.
We enjoyed the film immensely.
Later in the week, as HBO used to do, “Tremors” was shown
again – and again she invited me to watch it with her. It, and the experience, were better still the
second time around.
I’d not given a thought to “Tremors” in many years since
those two nights of fun.
On THIS SUNDAY, after conducting some additional business
for Mary at the funeral parlor up the road, I had some expiring Best Buy
coupons and stopped at that establishment on the way home.
I walked past a huge circular bin of randomly and sloppily
strewn Bargain Blu-Rays – and what do you think catches my eye… THIS DAY OF ALL
DAYS! (Take Box out of jacket and hold
it up to the audience!)
Yes! It was “Tremors”!
It was “Tremors”! I had not given
a single thought to “Tremors” in SO MANY YEARS!
And, of the hundred or more items in that bin, it was the
ONLY COPY of “Tremors”! And, it caught
my eye totally at random!
…Or, maybe NOT so random!
Maybe it was a reminder from Mary of a good time we had! I dare not say!
But, there was no way I was leaving it in Best Buy! I took it home and watched it that night
(this time with Esther), and relived a special, forgotten moment shared with
Mary. Though I might have forgotten it,
something tells me that she did not!
Thank you, Mom – for everything! Speaking for Bob and myself – and Esther and
Kyle, we love you!
