Thursday, December 16, 2010

Really Strange Dream!

I never try to understand my dreams – just take them at their (often bizarre) face value.

But, last night must have been a manifestation of seeing too many commercials for the new CGI Yogi Bear Movie – and my recent indulgences in the films and television product of Alfred Hitchcock. …Let’s go to the dream!
                           
In the dream, Yogi Bear’s CGI movie failed miserably, and the “smarter than average” bear was looking for a comeback vehicle. While said vehicle was not firm, the film’s director was… Alfred Hitchcock – looking just as if he stepped out of the mid-1950s. Though my dream was “in-color”, I think Mr. Hitchcock even appeared in “black-and-white”.

As if THAT wasn’t weird enough, I was selected as the screenwriter by Mr. Hitchcock, and approved by Mr. Bear!

            
With Yogi’s best writers unable to commit to the project – Warren Foster was dead, and Mark Evanier was unavailable – the job fell to me, because BOTH Mr. Hitchcock, and Mr. Bear enjoyed my freelance scripting jobs on the Disney Donald Duck and Uncle Scrooge comic books published by Gemstone and Boom Studios! (…Yes, really!)

Flabbergasted, I asked: “Do you actually READ those things?”

In tandem, they replied: “Doesn’t everybody?”

I thought it best NOT to correct such “gods” of the entertainment industry.

Immediately, I went to work on several treatments…
Bear-Faced Psycho” found Yogi in the shower, when the curtain opened to the harsh chords of Bernard Herrmann to reveal someone dressed as an “old lady bear” who hits Yogi in the face with a cream pie!

I envisioned Hitchcock’s magnificent shot of the residual splattered pie-cream swirling down the drain, as Yogi licked as much as possible off his face. Oh, and if you don’t think this is scary… the cream pie was laced with deadly “Joker Venom”!

Alas, Mr. Hitchcock and Mr. Bear rejected the concept, as it would have Yogi “exit the picture” halfway through, as Janet Leigh did in “PSYCHO” – and no one felt that Boo-Boo and Ranger Smith could carry that much of the film’s remainder without Yogi.

And, so we moved on to “Lifeboat Bear”. (I KNOW this was the result of recent events, because I’d just reviewed “ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S LIFEBOAT” on this Blog!)

We open with Yogi Bear alone and adrift on a lifeboat in the North Atlantic.

One by one, other Hanna-Barbera characters begin to climb aboard. Not just any H-B characters, but OTHER “animal characters” that continuously confounded a human authority figure… just like Yogi did!

In turn, there was Top Cat, Wally Gator, Magilla Gorilla, Squiddly Diddly, and Breezly Bruin the polar bear.

And so we have lots of Hitchcock-ian TENSION, as Yogi confronts the others about “stealing his shtick” – and the rest show open envy over Yogi’s stardom.

Then the tension INCREASES, as a “Saturday Morning Network Executive from the ‘70s and ‘80s” is pulled from the drink – and ALL the characters gang up on HIM for the irreparable damage of blandness, pro-social messaging, and toy-based merchandising he and his ilk inflicted – not only upon them, but on the entire field in which they toiled!

They beat him and threw him overboard to drown!

Alfred Hitchcock loved the treatment, and Yogi felt it was “justified” after “Yogi’s Ark”, “Yo-Yogi” and everything else in between!

But, Joe Barbera stepped-in and said that it went against everything his early characters were all about – BEING FUNNY! I couldn’t argue with that (…even given the unspeakable atrocities of “Yogi’s Ark” and “Yo-Yogi”), and scrapped the idea!

Finally, genius struck… in the form of “Alfred Hitchcock’s The Bears”!

For no apparent reason, beyond the Hitchcock-brand of suspense and terror, the bears in Jellystone Park devolved into ZOMBIES, would form packs (ominously perching on some VERY STURDY high-tension wires), and attack innocent tourists indiscriminately!

It was up to Yogi to lead Boo-Boo, Cindy Bear, Ranger Smith, Snagglepuss, Yakky Doodle, Chopper, Fibber Fox, Tippi Hedren, Rod Taylor, and myself out of the park and to safety! (Yes, I ACTED in the film, too! As “Frightened Tourist # 1”! It was MY dream, after all!)

Alfred Hitchcock’s requisite cameo was to appear as the character of “Alfy Gator”, and not everyone makes it out alive… alas, poor Fibber!

The film was a tremendous success, and I was about to buy the DVD, when I woke up!

Um, that’s REALLY how the dream went… believe it or not.
Good Eve-ven-ing!”

7 comments:

Chris Barat said...

Joe,

Yes, I believe it... All of those things have been churning around in your head of late. Nicky tells me that I woke up last night "pointing at a sign" and saying, "42 and 4 makes 46!" That was a LOT more cryptic.

Chris

ramapith said...

Cryptic? It seems like a pretty straightforward equation to me, Chris.

Ryan Wynns said...

Joe,

This, in Internet lingo, "is all kinds of awesome"!

If only you had had a major say in the new Yogi movie!

The Lifeboat Bear premise is brilliant! Clearly, your subconscious, taking over while you dream, has absorbed your waking mind's familiarity with the Hanna-Barbera characters and the studio's oft-used formulas!

Of the various Yogi productions throughout the '70's and '80's, I think of Yogi's Treasure Hunt as being pretty good...but, I haven't seen it in a very long time.

The zombie version seems to involve the most "randomness"!

Where is that "Alfy Gator" image from? Rod Taylor?! And there doesn't seem to be a clear rhyme or reason to this ensemble of H-B characters like there was in the Lifeboat sequence. (I'm totally amazed that your dream was that precise and logical with that concept!)

The only dream that I've ever heard that was about as good as this one was a few years ago. I dreamt an episode of Pee-Wee's Playhouse in which the hand puppets and other similarly "lo-fi" residents of the complementarily "lo-fi" Playhouse set were besieged by an attack from a tyrannosaurus rex that looked like it had stepped out of a big-budget special effects movie. A handheld camera "jerkily" (a la Blair Witch Project) followed Pee-Wee through what looked like a "real" forest (as opposed to a set) at nighttime as he fled to a hiding place in a hollow beneath a large, old tree.

Ryan

Chris Barat said...

Joe,

Actually, you might be able to sell "Lifeboat Bear" as an updated version of "Yogi's Ark." Every week, a new representative of some present-day social evil would be pulled aboard the lifeboat -- and, at the end of the show, thrown back overboard. The balance of the ep would be taken up with a scholarly debate on the issues that would make FIRING LINE and CROSSFIRE look like small potatoes.

Chris

Joe Torcivia said...

Chris and David:

Idunno… Chris’ dream seems logical for a mathematician, that is. At least the math was correct! 

Ryan:

Esther figures the root of this dream is that I just want to be a writer. I tend to agree.

“Bear-Faced Psycho” and “Lifeboat Bear” were odd Hitchcock-ian variations on the type of titles the original Yogi cartoons would have. And, in the latter, I somehow managed to employ characters that would set up the sort of tensions that permeated the Hitchcock film.

The “zombie version” was a variation on “The Birds”. The characters chosen for that segment were the cast of “The Yogi Bear Show” (1960-1962). I can understand your not getting that, as the old H-B shows have rarely, if ever, been shown on TV in their original form in recent decades. Tippi Hedren and Rod Taylor starred in “The Birds”, hence their inclusion here.

I don’t know exactly where the image of Alfy Gator was from, but the character was a recurring foe in the “Yakky Doodle” segment of “The Yogi Bear Show”, and was a great parody of Alfred Hitchcock. Alfy is one of my most favorite H-B “supporting characters”, and the perfect choice for “The Cameo”!

I, too, remain amazed that the “…dream was that precise and logical”! And that’s why I put it out here for others to enjoy.

A “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” dream?! (Shudder!) Scary!

Joe.

Joe Torcivia said...

Chris:

Your “Lifeboat Bear” concept is WONDERFUL!

I hope no TV executives read this!

…They might end up beaten and drowned!

Joe.

Ryan Wynns said...

“Bear-Faced Psycho” and “Lifeboat Bear” were odd Hitchcock-ian variations on the type of titles the original Yogi cartoons would have. And, in the latter, I somehow managed to employ characters that would set up the sort of tensions that permeated the Hitchcock film.

Yep! Do you always dream this intelligently? ;)

The “zombie version” was a variation on “The Birds”. The characters chosen for that segment were the cast of “The Yogi Bear Show” (1960-1962). I can understand your not getting that, as the old H-B shows have rarely, if ever, been shown on TV in their original form in recent decades.

Yes, they've been repackaged in so many different ways. Still, I should've done a little Internet research before commenting. Well, guess the third and final sequence wasn't so "random", after all!"

Tippi Hedren and Rod Taylor starred in “The Birds”, hence their inclusion here.

Ah! ...oh, that's embarrassing, as I've actually seen The Birds! (It was about 15 years ago, though, so that's my excuse...)

I don’t know exactly where the image of Alfy Gator was from, but the character was a recurring foe in the “Yakky Doodle” segment of “The Yogi Bear Show”, and was a great parody of Alfred Hitchcock.

Oh, I thought that in your dream, you'd created a hybrid of Wally Gator and Hitchcock! (Shows my limited familiarity with the early Hanna-Barbera cartoons....)

A “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” dream?! (Shudder!) Scary!

Nah, I like Pee-Wee, and the dream was quite vivid and imaginative!

Ryan