Adventures in Comic-Boxing: Letters to Lois and Lana! (...Or the Long Lowdown on Lane and Lang!)

I SOOOO miss comic book letter columns! 

Back before texting and "Insta-Face-Tweet-Snap-Gramming", people actually used to write letters... not only to one another, but to the editors of their favorite comic books!  These letters were often interesting, and invariably fun!  It is a part of the comic book reading experience that is now gone forever!

...Unless, like me, you have your own "Adventures in Comic-Boxing" by rooting through your long (...or short) boxes to unearth those special, yet forgotten, treasures!  

The letter columns were the place to interact with a book's editor (...or editorial staffer) to express your opinions by forming actual sentences with words, via a thought process that didn't reek of snark, sarcasm, or outright trolling as its default setting!

(Don't try to read the small text!  Some highlights will follow below!) 

And, given the way I conduct this Blog, in an overall snark, sarcasm, and troll-free manner - where most everything is all-in-respectful-fun, it's small wonder that I "came-up" through this now-lost art form, with over 300 published Comic Book Letters of Comment!  That spirit of civility remains alive here... and always will!

Ah, but to our subject... 

While "comic-box adventuring", I chanced to read LOIS LANE 99 and 100 (DC Comics, Cover Dates: February and April, 1970 - respectively), and thoroughly enjoyed the "It-Could Only-Happen-In-a-Silver-Age-DC-Comic", Bizarro-Perry-Mason-like story of Lois on trial for the murder of her rival Lana Lang... with SUPERMAN as prosecuting attorney, and BATMAN for the defense (!)...

...With a last-minute courtroom surprise by defense attorney Batman...

...That would stun even "Old Perry"!

"Perry MASON", that is... not Perry White!

And, after a two-part nail-biter like THAT, what could be a better chaser than the issues' letter columns!  

So, either Lois DIDN'T kill Lana after all, or maybe there's some anthrax in that envelope that Lana is opening!  If no deadly chemicals are involved, I'll merely suggest that you make up your own "poison pen letter" joke, to save me some time!

Whatever's in that letter, though, it was potent enough to transform Lana from a redhead to a blonde!

And, before I do some variation on "Hair Color Today, Gone Tomorrow", let's finally get to some of those letters... 

In anticipation of the 100th issue of LOIS LANE, we have these thoughts that ACTUALLY APPEARED in the letter column of LOIS LANE # 100...

Hmmm... Somehow, I must have missed LOIS LANE # 500 in 2014 (...Or perhaps it just became too unrecognizable for me to notice, in the wake of modern DC's continuous stunts such as "The New 52" and "Rebirth")!  

...And, by 2070, I will undoubtedly be dead!  ...So much for collecting LOIS LANE # 1,000! 

Isn't it great that "a young girl in the late 1940s" was (...and hopefully STILL IS) reading these comics and sharing them with her children  in 1970!   

How great would it be if, by now - or in more recent times, she is also doing so with lots of grandchildren!   Though, hopefully with Gold, Silver, and/or Bronze Age comics - that are so much better than the comics of today, SCOOBY-DOO TEAM-UP excepted! 

WARNING: Always read the STORIES before the letter column, because ya never know what's gonna get spoiled (Also from LOIS LANE #100)...

...WHAT?!  ...LANA'S NOT DEAD?!  ...AND YOU, MISTER EDITOR, SPOILED IT FOR ME BEFORE  I COULD READ IT FOR MYSELF?!   ...DAMN! 

To be fair to "Mister Ed." (...No, not HIM!)...

...I don't believe the term "SPOILER WARNING" was in common use (or, that it even existed) in late 1969. 

...And, besides, maybe the "SPOILER" was wrong because Lana had yet to open the chemically-booby-trapped envelope! 

But, before she does, let's slide backward to two letters from LOIS LANE # 99 - with two VERY DIFFERENT exchanges on the topic of romance! 

Here's one decidedly steeped in literature... (Click to Enlarge, if needed!) 

...And here's another kind entirely...

Ya gotta love it!  Ya gotta love it ALL!  A salute to those who wrote these letters!  I hope you're still out there enjoying this stuff! 

...And I hope you're all having you own special "Adventures in Comic-Boxing"!

Great Review of IDW Disney Comics by "Comic Book Rehab"!

...I wish this Blog "were back" to continue discussing these great comics, and other items that inhabit "The Universe of Things That Interest Me".  

In the meantime, I can think of nothing better to carry us through this Blog's period of necessary darkness than this wonderful review of the IDW Disney comic book line by our friend "Comic Book Rehab"!  

We WILL be back with more but, for now, please enjoy this great piece!  

...And, to 'Rehab: Yes, I'd LOVE to get a crack at the "Teen Beagles" series he mentions in the review.  

And thanks especially for the kind words on "Love is Never Having to Say You're Sentenced"!

Finally, to all: Know that some of the time spent away from this Blog is in service to two long Mickey Mouse stories - one of 35 pages, and another of 30 pages.  And that one of them (written and drawn by Casty), in my own humble opinion, rivals "Plan Dine from Outer Space" as the greatest thing I've had the honor of working on for IDW!  

Go read "Comic Book Rehab's" piece HERE!  You'll LOVE IT! 

UPDATE: Please note this cover to Disney Comics’ MICKEY MOUSE ADVENTURES # 4 - and it's villain, in particular.  

It will figure into the Comment Thread of this post! 

  

Superman Saves Christmas - Bonus Coverage!

Oh - My - Gosh!  it's BONUS COVERAGE!

I was once a prolific comic book letter hack, with over 330 published Letters of Comment in the titles of pretty much every publisher I followed with any degree of consistency, from the '80s into the mid 2000s. 

Some of you may remember the undertaking I'm about to discuss, most of you will not (...or, never knew in the first place), but...
 

...When DC Comics ended their letter columns, sometime in mid-2002, that didn't stop me.  

I simply began producing a series of what I called "NON-LETTERS", which commented on the same issues as they were released, but might have been more frank or satirical, as they were not tailored for publication.  

In those Pre-Blogging days, I distributed these via an e-mail list of persons I knew that were interested in DC Comics, and might have enjoyed the comments.  

Today, they would be "Comic Review Blog Posts" -- and now (thanks to the miracle of "Copy" and "Paste") one of them actually is!  

 

Below is my "Non-Letter" to ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN # 623, which was the subject of OUR LAST POST.  Enjoy it as some sort of "Bonus Coverage"...

Oh, and notice that the New York Football Giants were bad THEN, too!  It's amazing how much of this stuff even *I* forgot! 

------------------------------

Time for another (long overdue) "Non-Letter" to DC's nonexistent letter columns!

Dear Mis-Adventurers:

“Am I a hero?  A husband?  A role model?  Or am I just making things more complex than they really are…?”

“Probably.  Truth is, you’re ALL those things.  And MORE.”  -- Superman and Lois Lane, having another “heart to heart”, from ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN # 623. (Released December 17, 2003)

2003 has been an interesting year for writer Joe Casey and the ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN title.  In this year, editor Eddie Berganza dispensed with the “book-to-book” connected continuity, began well over a decade ago by former Super-editor Mike Carlin, and had each Superman title stand completely on its own – telling its own particular stories. 

"...Now, with more SUPER!"

 

Joe Kelly’s ACTION COMICS, despite the muddled and confusing “Supergirls” arc, fared the best under this approach with “The Harvest” (Death of General Zod) being perhaps the best of the run.  Other highlights include the “Creeper on a Cruise Ship” and “New Year’s Eve Around the World” stand-alone stories in the last two issues of the year.  Let’s not even discuss the horrors that were Steven Seagle and Scott Mc Daniel’s SUPERMAN! 

 

Joe Casey’s ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, however, was truly a “mixed bag”.  It started off far and away as the cream of the Super-crop with such great stuff as “The Hollow Men”, “Heroville” and “Funky Flashman’s Super Emporium”.  Then took a SHARP DIP with such substandard efforts as “The Candidate/ Cannibal Planet” and “Anti-Angelica” mini arcs. 

The Funky Flashman... Yes, really!

 

This issue’s “Bittersweet” falls squarely in-between.  Not the best, and far from the worst.  It’s the sort of “Supes takes Lois to a remote location(s) for some private soul-searching talks” thing that we’ve seen Dan Jurgens and company do so much better in the past.  

This one has an interesting twist, though.  Supes recounts some of his most recent “untold” adventures to Lois in the form of TEXT AND ILLUSTRATIONS.  Four stories, in all, are told in this format: “How Superman Saved Christmas”, “Secret of the Phantom Quarterback”, “Crisis on Earth-Mind”, and “The Day The Earth Divided”. 

 

All of these, in some way, would have made interesting stories in their own right (…and may have been resurrected from Casey’s “scrap pile” for this express purpose), but are somehow IMPROVED UPON by the brevity of the format – as opposed to devoting a minimum of 32 pages (less ads), or multiple issues, to each idea. 

The Christmas tale is my personal favorite, as, in recent years, I’ve become a sucker for stories that present the notion that “Santa Claus” is some sort of “real” supernatural being.  Examples of such stories occurred in the MEN IN BLACK animated series, and (…believe it or not) in a recent issue of SAVAGE DRAGON. 

 

“And there he [Santa] was, practically an amalgamation of all the various descriptions he’d been given throughout the ages.  I suspect he looks different to everyone.  To me, he had the warmest smile I’d ever seen…”  OH, ISN’T THAT GREAT?!  REALLY!!! 

When the reindeer come down with a mysterious virus on Christmas Eve, Superman “…guides the sleigh tonight” – and helps with the general delivery of presents. 

 

“Obviously, time passes much DIFFERENTLY for him on that night.  He’s never rushed.  I had to beg him to let me make a delivery or two…”.   JUST WONDERFUL!!!

As for the others:  If nothing else, “Secret of the Phantom Quarterback” conjured up images of the “Post Silver Age”, Julius Schwartz era for Superman of the 1970s thru mid-1980s.  The image of a helmet and a football uniform – with no body inside – running amok on a stadium field would have made a perfect cover circa the Schwartz era… and, somehow, big dumb jock sportscaster Steve Lombard (…anyone else remember him?)  would have been involved. 

“Crisis on Earth-Mind” involved Silver Age Green Lantern villain Hector Hammond, while “The Day The Earth Divided” might have been a company-wide, summer crossover series had it been published in the mid-nineties.  Both benefited form the “condensed overview” approach.

All in all, quite a bit better than we’ve gotten from Casey in the last few months – and, while I’m still glad he’s departing as part of the sweeping “Super-creative changes” to come in early 2004, I’m also glad he went out on something of a high-note. 

Joe Torcivia  (…composing this Non-Letter on Christmas Eve, 2003 – and hopes Santa Claus IS, in fact, a supernatural being.  Also figures that the currently 4-11 New York Football Giants must have a “Phantom Quarterback” – or could USE ONE!)   

 

Comic Book Review: UNCLE SCROOGE # 259 (October, 1991) – as originally written back in 1994!

Comic Book Review:  UNCLE SCROOGE # 259 (October, 1991) – as originally written back in 1994!

So that we may celebrate New York Comic Con Week 2013, here, with warts and all, is my original Comic Book Review of UNCLE SCROOGE # 259, (almost) exactly as I prepared it in 1994. 

You’ll see differences in the overall form vs. today's reviews (No “Cons” and “Pros”, for instance.) but, in content, it’s not all that different from what I’d write today.  Any “additions for the sake of clarification” will appear within BRACKETS [ like this ].  And there will be lots of illustrations - something not possible in the "old days". 

This was the FIRST such review I ever did, and made up the bulk of the first installment of THE ISSUE AT HAND APA and Fanzine Column, which was the forerunner of TIAH Blog!   So, be kind, patient, and understanding, as this is an illustrated recreation of my first foray into (as we say up top) “The Things That Interest Me”.  Click on any of the comic images to enlarge, and ENJOY…

THE ISSUE AT HAND IS:  UNCLE SCROOGE # 259 (Cover Date: October, 1991)

Published by Disney Comics.

“The Only Way to Go”.  16 pages.

Writer: Uncredited.   Artist: Vicar.  Dialogue: Byron Erickson.

 

Donald [Duck] accidently transports himself to “the island of Tierra Del Fuego at the southern tip of South America”, while Poking around Gyro [Gearloose’s] latest invention, the D.R.A.K.E.  (Dimensional Realizer and Kinematic Explorer).  Scrooge and Gyro set out to rescue him, and it is their interaction which makes this tale a memorable one. 

What a CHEAT!  Donald doesn't even travel in TIME.  He only moves around in PHYSICAL SPACE!

In fact, having the pair thrown into an adventure situation together is so much fun that it’s hard to believe that something as unlikely as a Second Class Mailing regulation kept Carl Barks from teaming them up in the past. 

Oh, Donald... You've done it again!

For those who are unaware of this particular oddity in Disney comics history, in order to secure Second Class Mailing privileges for subscription copies, Western Publishing [ the publishing entity behind Dell and Gold Key Comics] had to schedule at least TWO stories per issue of a title… with one story featuring CHARACTERS WHICH DID NOT APPEAR IN ANY OTHER STORY in that same issue.  Don’t ask ME!  This, rather than any creative decision, was the reason that the GYRO GEARLOOSE short stories came into existence. 

 

Amazing, but true.  We have the Postal Service to thank for the development of one of our most cherished [original Disney comic book] characters, not to mention the end of 32 page book-length stories (such as the grand Donald Duck adventure “Lost in the Andes”, 1949) in any comic series released by Western Publishing on a mail subscription basis. 

No more like THIS! 

There was no subscribing to THE PHANTOM BLOT, but we got some great 32 page stories!

Oh, but back to Scrooge and Gyro…

Gyro’s addition to the mix offers a large number of humorous possibilities not found in the more traditional Scrooge / Donald / Nephews adventures. 
 

 

Some years ago [in my earliest fanzine writings], I termed Gyro as “…an accommodating source of miracles”, and he does not disappoint us here.  During the course of this adventure, he propels a life raft with his “Solar Powered Eggbeater”, combines the eggbeater with some rope, driftwood and “razor clam shells” to create a device capable of cutting through the thickest brush, and provides escape from captivity with his “Atomic Pocket Knife” (!).  …And they say the JUNIOR WOOKCHUCKS are “always prepared”!

 

When confronted with the final obstacle, the scaling of a sheer, icy cliff, both Scrooge and the readers are expecting Gyro to conjure up another miracle of an invention.  Instead, to our surprise and delight, he produces ordinary TENT PEGS and ROPES for the climb. 

All's well, that ends well -- for Donald, that is!

 

“A Day in the Life of Uncle Scrooge”.  10 pages.

Writer: Uncredited.   Artist: Vicar.  Dialogue: Gary Gabner.

Two reporters join Scrooge for a “typical day for the World’s Richest Duck”.  During the morning, alone, Scrooge ejects individuals seeking donations, bags a money-nibbling moth with overkill that would turn Marvel’s [Joe’s Rules-Violating and Anachronistic Note: Now, ironically, DISNEY’S…] The Punisher envious, blows-off a new challenge from Flintheart Glomgold, thwarts Magica De Spell, and out-maneuvers The Beagle Boys.  By lunchtime, the reporters have, understandably, had enough. 

 

A DAY, you say?  This little gem distills many of the elements which Carl Barks used to make the UNCLE SCROOGE series great, into a mere ten pages – and hurls them back at the readers at breakneck speed!  Particularly humorous is Scrooge’s five panel, casual dismissal of Glomgold, whose previous challenges sparked Barks’ lengthy adventure classics “The Second Richest Duck” (1956) and “The Money Champ” (1959). 

“I tell you, some people've got no sense of PRIORITIES… or TIMING!”  declares Scrooge, as he literally bowls-over his rival while rushing off to tend to the next crisis. 

 

Both stories in this issue showcase the talents of the “Gutenberghus / Egmont Group”  (the producer of Disney comics based in Copenhagen, Denmark) at their best, delivering solid art by the ever-reliable Vicar and something extra in the way of humor and unexpected twists. 

Other Items of Note: 

This issue was the THIRD of FOUR, in that month, to fall under the umbrella title “The Time Tetrad”, along with the same month’s issues of DONALD DUCK ADVENTURES, WALT DISNEY’S COMICS AND STORIES, and DUCKTALES.  Never intended to tie together, three “adventures in time and dimensional travel” were grouped by sharp-eyed editor Bob Foster, and were added to a new two-part story produced for DUCKTALES to manufacture a sort of title “crossover” event. 

Disney Comics' DONALD DUCK ADVENTURES # 17.  Along with UNCLE SCROOGE # 259.  Together, do they make "Time" and "Time Again"?

Featured in this month’s Disney Comics subscription ad is DARKWING DUCK.  A *twelve-issue*  subscription is offered.  Hmmm… Wonder what went wrong!
 

Remember all these titles?  Click to enlarge!

I humbly direct you to the Letter Column where I discuss the reasons that the new story in UNCLE SCROOGE # 257 may very well be the first Scrooge adventure to take place after DUCKTALES. 

Back from the Navy?  Sure looks that way!

 

[ END OF PREVIOUSLY PREPARED MATERIAL ]

Pre or Post Navy...Some things never change! 

Now, that we're safely back in 2013...

Yes, I know “A Day in the Life of Uncle Scrooge” was later reprinted by Gladstone Series II, with vastly inferior dialoguing.  But, I didn’t know that in 1994. 
 

This is NOT the version with "inferior dialoguing" -- even though all Scrooge can retort is: "OH, YEAH!"

Two stories I worked on for Boom! Studios “The Titan of Tae-Qwon-Duk” and “Return of the Titan of Tae-Qwon-Duk” were ALSO unrelated Egmont Donald Duck stories that were editorially-united into a “story and sequel” – and the latter was even drawn by Vicar!  I didn’t know THAT in 1994, either. 

We can discuss these points and more in the Comments Section.  Meanwhile, thanks for reading this curio of “TIAH Days Gone By”, while I’m off to New York Comic Con 2013!