Adventures in Pantry Raiding: Going "Crackers"?

Yes, once in a while I will occasionally lift my head from blogging about comic books and forage for food!

Fortunately, I have only to forage the length of 3 1/2 flooring tiles, from my den's door to the food pantry!

On such a "pantry raid" (pardon), I chanced to discover this curious item...

...Leaving me with but one question to ask...

What in the heck are "ENTERTAINER CRACKERS"? 

Do they "sing and dance" their way into your tummy? 

And, if so, I hope they sound more like Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin...

...Rather than AC/DC...

...'Cause, while I "like me some AC/DC", my tummy would consider it a "Dirty Deed Done Dirt Cheap"!    

Don't just lie there, stacked in your individually-wrapped sleeves... ENTERTAIN ME!  

DVD Review: K. Gordon Murray Presents "Santa Claus" - or, "Life's a Pitch, Then You Fry!"

It's been a VERY long time since we've done a Looong DVD Review around here, as comics - both old and new - have had quite a resurgence at this Blog.  But, here comes a REALLY WEIRD ONE! 

K. Gordon Murray Presents "Santa Claus" (1959)

Another looong DVD Review by Joe Torcivia

Summary:  Alien Santa Claus vs. The Devil! ...Yes, really! 

This seems a very unlikely way to "extend Christmas" at TIAH Blog, but this all stems from the the Horror and Sci-Fi Film Appreciation Society that I attend each Thursday night.  

K. Gordon Murray Presents "Santa Claus" was the film of the week on December 14, 2017 - but, alas, I was not in attendance that evening, as I was up against a translation and dialogue deadline for "A Very Special Issue of UNCLE SCROOGE for IDW" that you will soon see... and hopefully enjoy.  

In consolation, I was given a DVD copy of the film by our Fearless Leader, Indie Filmmaker Keith Crocker, to watch at a later date. That date, for me, was December 22, post-Uncle Scrooge deadline but still well in time for Christmas.  

Before we get to my review, please visit the Blog of fellow member Marc Whinston, whose post on "the evening I missed" provides vital background on K. Gordon Murray Presents "Santa Claus" (...So I don't have to!) and offers a TRAILER for the film that you should very definitely watch before reading on... 

...You still here?  Go do it, and come back!  

Okay, now... Ready for some POETRY?  

'Twas the Day Before Christmas,

And Up There in Space, 

Santa Claus Lives,

In an Opulent Place!  

A Palace of Marble,

So Light and So Airy,

Contains Captive Children,

Now, THAT'S Really Scary! 

The Kids Sing for Their Supper,

And Make Toys for Their Keep,

Did Santa Fire the Elves,

Because He's So Cheap? 

Do We Root for This Santa?

Or Root for the Devil?

I'm Not Always Certain,

Just Who's on the Level!  

If I'm Forced to Choose,

'Tween the Two Guys in Red,

I Suppose I'll Pick Santa,

Let the Devil be Dead!  

Just imagine what this film must have done to make me create a Five-Stanza Poem-Parody for it!

Santa's an ALIEN?!  Presumably, his cloud city remains in fixed orbit behind the Dark Side of the Moon [Insert Your Own Pink Floyd Joke Here], which was unseen by man in 1959.  He PASSES the Moon on his way to Earth, bolstering that postulation.  

He opens with laughter far more maniacal than jolly, and apparently keeps CAPTIVE EARTH CHILDREN OF ALL NATIONS for his labor force - and his entertainment!  Since the children, at one point, wonder what they EAT on Earth, it's clear that Santa's probably taken them at a very early age, (perhaps from the hospital - or WOMB) as they do not miss their parents, and the parents are not searching for them!  BRRRRR!  

The children perform nation-specific musical numbers for Santa's amusement, like some bizarre living parody of Disneyland's "It's a Small World" ("After All") exhibit!  

But, still there are worse beings in the cosmos than this version of Santa Claus.  Specifically, "Lucifer the Devil", who sends his hapless minion "Pitch" to turn the children of Earth (the ones Santa has NOT labor-trafficked in) against Jolly Old St. Nick!  

The various elements of the film come together in an orgy of unparalleled weirdness...

We have ballet-dancing devils! 

Melodramatic, self-explanatory, and overly cautionary narration, the likes of which you would have heard in then-contemporary cartoons like RUFF AND REDDY - and was so manically lampooned by William Conrad in ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE!

Legendary magician Merlin and Vulcan (the key-maker) are also in Santa's thrall... 

What's on those FLOWERS Santa so often SNIFFS, Merlin?  

And, can you save some for Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse?

Santa's electronic equipment is outfitted with human body parts, eyes, ears, mouths, etc.   Did he get THOSE from the same place he got the children? 

Last, but far from least, are the Plastic Sleigh-Propelling Reindeer (Only FOUR? More economizing on Santa's part?) that TURN TO DUST AT THE LIGHT OF THE SUN???!!!  ...What are they, VAMPIRES?  

Can't ya hear it now...

On, Bela - On, Christopher,

On, Lugosi and Lee,

In Your Coffins 'Fore Sunrise,

Or Screwed You Will Be! 

Gosh, but I'm feeling POETIC today! 

Yet, despite all its weirdness, this film strikes an interesting balance between sentiment and comedy.  Sentiment with the stories of Little Lupita (the poor girl who wants a doll from Santa) and the poor (in another sense) rich kid who just misses his parents.  

And the comedy:  An indecisive family of cowards with guns (always a sure-fire laugh-getter) who thinks Santa is a burglar.  Pitch in soot-blackface after a chimney blow-back - with an exasperated camera-facing stare reminiscent of Wile E. Coyote, or Oliver Hardy - and getting butt-missiled by a toy cannon (below)! Santa treed by a Pit Bull, and Pitch doused by a fire hose!  

All of this stuff managed to work for me - meaning that I actually LIKED this film!   

I only wish I had the experience of seeing it with the group!  

Though I did the NEXT BEST THING!  I watched it back-to-back with FAMILY GUY's "Road to the North Pole" - with it's rather unorthodox portrayal of the legend of Santa Claus.  Everyone should see these two back-to-back for maximum effect!  

They kinda GO TOGETHER, Don't They? 

Back quickly to reviewing the DVD itself... This DVD version of K. Gordon Murray Presents "Santa Claus" comes with no subtitles, extras, or even a Theatrical Trailer... but I'm never one to look a gift disc in the mouth!  

Oh, did I say "mouth"?   

Please send your thoughts - especially if you've actually seen this film!  ...I wanna know what you think!  

R.I.P. Adam West.

It is with great sadness that we note the passing of actor Adam West, on June 09, 2017, at the age of 88. 

Adam West was one of those rare personalities who was universally beloved, particularly by those of us who were children of the sixties!  His uniquely zestful personality and acting style pretty much made him a favorite to everyone! 

When Adam West burst into our living rooms each Wednesday and Thursday evenings as BATMAN, there had never been anything like it before – and did he, and the series he would be forever associated with, ever arrive at the perfect time! 

Premiering on January 12-13, 1966, almost literally bisecting the final television season to broadcast a steadily-dwindling number of prime-time series in Black and White, Adam West’s BATMAN shattered any final lingerings of television as it was during the previous decade-and-a-half. 

While other fantasy-oriented prime-time network series such as VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, LOST IN SPACE, THE WILD WILD WEST and sitcoms like BEWITCHED, I DREAM OF JEANNIE, GET SMART, THE ADDAMS FAMILY, and THE MUNSTERS had started the ball decidedly rolling in the imaginative direction that 1960s television would best be remembered for, it was BATMAN – thanks to Adam West and the talented actors, writers, and directors that fashioned this unique series – that boldly announced that the Sixties “In-Color” had arrived!  

Adam West was the PERFECT Batman for the sixties.  Resolute, melodramatic, even “square”… but FUN!  Always FUN! 

But, having run my own personal DVD “West-Fest” in the days following his death, it becomes apparent that Adam West did not “create” this particular performance type FOR the character of Batman and his alter-ego Bruce Wayne – but had pretty much practiced it throughout the years leading up to the series.  Indeed, the 1966 television persona of Batman might very well have been created to suit the singular talents of Adam West – rather than the other way around.    

Consider the Three Stooges film “The Outlaws Is Coming”, co-starring Adam West.  There, his male-lead character IS unquestionably the Bruce Wayne / Batman persona… in a film released in 1965, the year PRIOR TO the BATMAN television series.  

In PERRY MASON’s “The Case of the Bogus Books” (1962), West’s character somehow manages to be “square” (though heroically-intentioned) even though he carries around a guitar! 

And, in THE OUTER LIMITS’ “The Invisible Enemy” (1964), he turns in a performance that, at times, would make William Shatner blush!  A performance not all that far from the Batman in his future! 

Funny that my three-item “West-Fest”, intended as nothing more than my usual sort of tribute to a favorite departed figure – with an emphasis on his pre-Batman roles, ends up revealing all the more about exactly what went into creating his forever-unique take on the Caped Crusader! 

Over the last quarter-century, Adam West enjoyed a tremendous resurgence in popularity, which I believe began with his guest-voicing role in the BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES episode “Beware the Grey Ghost”. 

From there, he went on to many live action and voice acting roles – the most famous and enduring of which would be “Mayor Adam West” on FAMILY GUY! 

Aw, heck… HERE is his extensive list of credits at IMDB!   

The final, full-circle steps of the resurgence of both Adam West and his version of Batman was this comic book…

...This amazing classic series Blu-ray release...

…And this new animated DVD, featuring the voices of Adam West, Burt Ward, and Julie Newmar!  (…With one more like it, guest-starring William Shatner as Two-Face, to come!) 

  

I got to meet Adam West once, and he was every bit as wonderful as one would imagine him to be!  That story is contained in THIS POST. 

Rest in Peace, Adam West.  Forever a beloved hero to legions of fans!